Added: Mikkel Redmond - Date: 17.09.2021 04:30 - Views: 24174 - Clicks: 9081
For most people, the terms are interchangeable and the boundaries are woolly. For some the definitions are more rigid, or at least very personal and individual. These at least give us a baseline from which to form opinions and arrive at acceptable definitions which work for each individual person or couple. For me, the basic definitions start with the words themselves. Slave is a noun and so a slave is what you are. Submissive is an adjective and so it describes what you do.
In BDSM relationships, submissives make their own decisions and choices, holding on to their own rights and freedoms.
Submissives also set their own limits. Submissives characteristically seek out casual contacts or relationships, moving in and out of their role freely as they go about their lives. A true slave is a very different person completely. While a submissive may choose how, when and to whom they submit, a true slave will submit completely at all times to their chosen owner, with little or no negotiation.
Slaves usually seek ownership, preferring to give themselves wholly to another dominant person. The slave has no rights or freedoms and certainly no choices. Of course in reality this only works where great wisdom, common sense and profound trust exist. Every slave or sub is different and every situation is unique and individual.
At the end of the day, our roles are defined by our relationships and seldom the other way around. We must accept that any definition is merely another form of labelling imposed by the wider society. Labels are a way of compartmentalising things which we might otherwise struggle to understand. Every couple needs to arrive at their own working definition for what they have.
It should be clearly understood that the definition is a work in progress and will change over time.
Anyone who thinks that there are only fifty shades of grey pun intended is in for a big surprise! A submissive may choose to submit sexually, but outside the bedroom or dungeon they will may still behave as equals with their Master or Mistress. The sub may choose to be a domestic servant but still maintain equality in their relationship. A real slave, in contrast, wishes every aspect of their life to be controlled by the Master or Mistress.
Of course in reality they will seek out their owner and so will be making choices regarding who that person is. At the end of the day they can still choose to end the relationship at any time. Another point to consider is that not all slaves are submissives!
There is no doubt that I shall be returning to this topic in the future. As a gay man I have met a great many heterosexual men who submit to other men. This does not in my opinion, make them gay! Consider the various definitions, but do not be limited by them.
Find what works for you and go with it. BE a slave, or DO submission, but have fun! Very interesting. Not being part of the community I had no idea of the differences.
Thanks for sharing your knowledge! Like this: Like Loading ELF August 25, at am Permalink. J Masters August 25, at pm Permalink. Give A Rose August 25, at pm Permalink.
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Slave or Sub: Whats the difference?