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This is Not Suitable for Work NSFW and includes pictures that may make you uncomfortable but are essential to demonstrate the diversity within the kink community. Kink encompasses a variety of practices, and while some parts of this might turn you on, for others it is what turns them on or brings them general pleasure. Amazing Shibari rope work done, with no connection to sex. The point in this case is control and beauty. Wikimedia commons. When folks think of kink, they usually think of Fifty Kink community page of Greyof fuzzy handcuffs, or perhaps, if academically trained, Michel Foucault.
Kink is hard to define as anything more specific than sexual deviance — however, lots of what kink is about is not about the conventional definition of sex. Sexual deviance contrasts from the norm — heterosexual missionary position — lights off, quick, penetrative sex in a bed. However, sexual deviance does not even fully express what kink is.
Sex does not have to be a part of kink. It can be but for many it is not. For some, kink is about pain and control through a shared experience Ross, There are many different levels of consent in the kink community. For Safe, Sane, and Consensual players kink is about affirmative consent, throughout the scene with nothing that could be considered not safe, or not sane JozifkovaBarker For instancesome of the electric-play or erotic asphyxiation breath play may not by any conventional sense fall under safe, nor sane.
However, in most cases, participants thoroughly discuss or even write out formal agreements prior to engaging in a scene. Participants set up safe words, explicitly describe what they want and expect from a scene, how to end a scene, and often care after a scene ends Nielsen, It also includes the participation of BDSM related activities. Generally, the scene is discussed fully and consists of an agreed upon beginning, middle, and end. A BDSM scene may occur at a club or some other play space. This is separate from a scene seen within subculture studies, which generally refers kink community page to the subculture itself.
Within the kink community, partners sit down and decide what they want in a scene and plan it out on as partners, even when one or multiple partner s will usually be more submissive. Kink has many themes throughout it, as it kink community page many different subcultures and communities Newmahr, It spans ages, race, and gender identity. To explore this, I did several interviews with people involved in the kink community across Iowa, Seattle, New York, and south Florida. For instance, in Iowa the community is more white than in Detroit where there is a huge black, gay, kinky community — some of my interviewees have been active in both of these communities!
It reflects similar problems still — there is the stereotype of male dominator-female submissive, transwomen being asked to dominate and penetrate others, fat women, Asian women, and black women being fetishized Ono, Men often do behave predatorily on FetLife — bodies are still objectified, but because the community is so exclusive and often hidden, it is often called out as such. However, kink does have an interesting relationship with race — particularly with race play. This kind of behavior is even deviant within the kink community but still falls under the overall kink community, though requires more explicit consent for people of color particularly women of color to be acceptable.
In addition, the secrecy from mainstream is hard because oftentimes victim-survivors of abuse cannot come forward with their experiences because folks do not understand that consent to kink is not always consent to anything or everything else.
For instance, Cliff Pervocracy states :. So silence becomes the path of least resistance. This plays into the idea of what is okay in the community, or perhaps deviant. Oftentimes some kinks are looked down on in the community as strange, or a subculture of their own, such as foot fetish folk or piss play folk.
However, there is an agreed upon norm against non-consensual harm, which this past example plays back to.
Wikimedia Commons. Kink overlaps heavily with the polyamorous community, the goth community, the pagan community, the atheist community, and so many more. However, the largest way one can see this community or get involved is by ing FetLife — the Facebook for the kinkster. It allows folks to their own videos and photos, have a relationship status, and post their own writings on kink as well. There are groups based on fetishes and locations, as well kink community page groups based on age groups — for instance TNG The Next Generation groups, which are for kinky folks under the age of It allows for private messaging, private groups that have admin oversight, and communication across the world; it also shows the networks of the kink community — something often mentioned is that the network seems to connect everyone; in many ways, this has made the community safer — as folks can assess others from their past communities and also give warning to communities when there is a predator within a community.
Kink has shown up in pop culture recently through the Fifty Shades of Grey trend and then also in the last kink community page years in politics and in crime Weiss, It has even been written about within The New York Times. Fifty Shades of Grey starts with a young soon-to-be college graduate Anastasia Steele without much of a personality, who gets pulled into a kinky relationship with an older incredibly wealthy and powerful man, Christian Grey who introduces her to kink as it is the only way that he can have sex due to his abusive past with his mother.
It also made it more socially acceptable to be involved in kink, which made it safer for folks to ask questions before playing. This is reflected in the fact that kink is not talked about in sex education — albeit sex education mostly just covers heterosexual penetrative sex — but this makes it more dangerous for folks getting into the community — leading to abuse and trauma because of a lack of knowledge of safety or consent Bezreh This is just one aspect of the authenticity policing in the kink community, while many other aspects come in from the perception of what a kinkster should look like or behave like.
This le to boundary policing, but also allows for a safer community when done correctly. With respect to politics and crime, there have been the usual satanic sex folk claims in mainstream news, though usually in more conservative news sources as well. However, many folks are rather hypocritical in their politics regarding sex — such as the senator who asked sex workers to make him wear a diaper while still campaigning on family values.
In addition, there was an uptick in cases of autoerotic asphyxiationleading to an unexpected moral panic in some conservative spheres — which led the discussion on whether individuals can consent to behavior that is harmful to oneself. Overall kink is seen as deviant but has its own internal hierarchy as welland oftentimes what mainstream media and pop culture sees are the lightest and the worst of the community — either rape and death, or fuzzy handcuffs with a heterosexual white married couple.
Neither partner is straight and both have some formal education. Stacy is a pansexual cisgender woman, while John is a heteroflexible cisgender male. These names are not their real names. John and Stacy still disagree regarding what is a kinkster, versus someone who participates in kink:.
Stacy: I think the whole like bondage in the bedroom… you know, the surveys that come back say that most people have tried that. Those are just kinky folks. Stacy: Well, I would say that those people are kinky, but not kinksters. A kinkster is someone who comes to events and is active within the community. This shows a small sample of Folsom Street Fairfeaturing some gay leather and puppy play. In addition, there is a huge split in the kink community regarding what qualifies as abuse, what qualifies as consent, and how to make spaces safe. In some spaces, kink community is incredibly protective and exclusive — the word of a submissive is the law regarding what is abuse and who is a predator Williams, This is one reason why many abuse victim-survivors and others might feel safer with kinky folk.
For one to be respected and trusted within a community, they need to have years if not decades of work in the community. However, I am not saying the kink community is perfect — oftentimes there are abusers in the community, kink community page folks who call them out are excluded from the community overall or seen as weak. For instance, within the leather community there are levels of trust that are physical markers at community parties — leather clothes are gifted from others in the community for their dedication and work in the community. The community reflects dedication and time, rather than money or perceived influence and outspoken confidence.
Methods and Resources. Throughout this piece I cite several different interviews that were conducted in the past two weeks. As a member of the kink community for the past six years, I have expertise and insider knowledge of the community — thus, I interviewed many of my friends — some of whom are well-known within the community and thus provided access to others within the community for this research.
Janet W. Hardy : Author of The Ethical Slut and considerable literature about alternative sex lives. Cliff Pervocracyrenowned blogger on feminism, queer life, consent, and kink. Devon, Molly, and Philip Miller. Friedman, Jaclyn, and Jessica Valenti Berkeley, CA: Seal. This book talks generally about consent and sexual power, which overlaps into general kink and tries to address kink consent. Ono, Kent A. A Companion to Asian American Studies.Kink community page
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