Gay sub and dom

Added: Soyla Lema - Date: 28.10.2021 06:23 - Views: 24244 - Clicks: 2517

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I am a gay male. I have been with my partner for 3. We are both in our late twenties. We have lived together for the past two years and I have always imagined we will get married. I have always primarily derived pleasure from sex from the power dynamics. I have tended to think of myself in the dominant role. I mostly fantasize about being with sexually submissive guys who derive pleasure from pleasing me.

In general, this means I think about guys who are entirely focused upon making me come and doing what I desire, and are not interested in coming themselves. I fantasize about being with a guy who likes to give blowjobs without reciprocation. I think about being with a guy lies there during anal, letting me do what I like to them e. I rim him, he suck me, I penetrate him. I found this reasonably pleasurable at the start of our relationship but I now find it stale and no longer look forward to it. We have tried experimenting with other stuff.

We've gay sub and dom some very mild BDSM stuff but it feels forced. In the past two months, I have also tried bottoming I had always topped until now and giving my boyfriend blowjobs. I figured this might tap into my more submissive desires and I do find taking the 'submissive' role pleasurable. But I generally find that I don't really look forward to doing it and, beforehand, it feels like a chore, even though I enjoy the actual act. I also have some quite specific issues about topping with my boyfriend which will likely remain our primary sexual activity.

I find it always takes a long time since my boyfriend likes to do a lot of foreplay which I find a little slow. And it is often quite dirty since my boyfriend is reluctant to douche or use enemas for health reasons. I have discussed these issues with my partner. He agreed to an open relationship with constraints 6 months ago. I have frequently met people whereas he has met another guy once. I have really enjoyed meeting submissive guys some of whom do seem to come close to my sexual desires.

It feels strange to go from this power-infused sexual dynamic back to more vanilla sex with my boyfriend, which I don't enjoy as much. I also think I would generally prefer to be monogamous. The alternative is that we break up and I pursue a relationship with a naturally more submissive guy. I have several concerns about this alternative:. I worry that this dominance fetish is a manifestation of a general discomfort with being gay i.

I worry that I will get bored of being with a submissive guy, like I have with more vanilla sex in our current relationship.

By entering into a relationship with someone who is primarily interested in pleasing me, I would be violating the concept of being GGG, i. I worry that this could lead to long-term problems. Now that can work, of course, but it doesn't sound like it's what you want. You aren't sexually compatible, first and foremost, and then there's all that shit on your dick. No, no, no. Be thoughtful about your desires and kinks, but pathologizing the stuff that gets you off is a waste of time.

You're not any more or less fucked up because you wanna dominate a guy who wants to be dominated. Wanting to dominate people who don't want to be dominated?

That's fucked up. In fact, kinksters who thoughtfully incorporate their kinks into their sex lives are happier and healthier than the average person. Like all of us, you probably have some issues that need to be worked out. But your kinks aren't the issue. So long as they're not causing you distress, so long as they can be and are enjoyed consensually, they're not even an issue. You can be a Dom top without owning a slave.

You can be a Dom top without having to be an alpha or a master or a handler or a key-holder or a whateverthefuck. You may find yourself with a sub whose needs and desires don't align perfectly with your own, just as your desires may not align perfectly with your sub's. That's where GGG comes in: you meet his reasonable needs, he meets yours, you respect each other's limits.

You could, but anyone could get bored with their partner. Sexual passion waxes and wanes over years, PLEASED, but—if your partner is right for you—other aspects of their personality will hold your interest over the longterm and get you through the dry patches. And speaking as someone in a long-long- LONG -term relationship, you're both going to grow and change and evolve and shit but hopefully not on dicks. If your guy wants to service you without reciprocation—if he wants to blow you without being blown, gay sub and dom he wants to make you come without ever being allowed to come himself, if he wants to worship your cock while his is locked up—allowing him to service you ordering him to!

If your partner gets off being with a selfish top, being the best selfish top you can possibly be is totally GGG. If this dynamic is your game and it's their game and you're both giving Listen to my podcast, the Savage Lovecast, at www.

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Gay sub and dom

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